Death

What is it about death that scares us? Makes the human soul weep? Leaves us begging for more of what was lost.

Yesterday Wesley a 20 year old in our youth committed suicide

.

I saw young people cry, break and people hurt from the very place that love flowed from.

Wes we shall never know why but we celebrate your life and hope you enjoy the moves in the eternal dance that you are now part of.

Here I am send me

I hate the bible sometimes. So often it can leave me feeling empty and lost and at the same time it can give me hope in the love and movement of God in the world.

Its no secret to the people who know me that lately I have been feeling pretty sad about the church and my calling to the God has really taken a knock. I wonder if minister are ever called by God or are they called by the church?

Anyway so I have been thinking about my calling. I am tired..... Tired of many things but the thing that probably makes me tired the most is my theology. Being labeled as a "Liberal" "Post Modernist" "Emergent" "Satanist" has one thing in common, the fight. I have to constantly defend my views and am almost always labeled as wrong without being hear, instead of being accepted as a disciple. I am tired of fighting and not being love by my fellow disciples.

So today I was watching Rhythm by Rob Bell at youth church and he spoke about being part of Gods song. Being in tune to the music of God and playing in that rhythm. In one part of the video I felt vulnerable, safe, open, closed, lonely, cared for, sinner, graced....The emotions were just one of the same and at times totally separate. All I could hear was hear I am send me....And here you are, so am I.

I don't know if minister is where I want to be, in fact there is very little I do know, however, in the word of all who fought for the rhythm of God I shall say "Here I am send me" and I am sure that God will reply "Here you are, so am I"

Church?

Is the church dead? Is it dying? or could it be far more alive than I ever could imagine?

Recently I heard from Dion Foster that the business world and the church have a completely different language. So much so that the church is seen as out of touch and has lost the plot. We can debate the fact but we can see it in Europe that the church is dead. We can debate the where it started, The crusades (with the church killing for God) The enlightenment (Thinking in a new way which the churches responses was fundamentalism) or could it have been when the church split in the reformation. Regardless of the fact the church in the west is dying.

I can see why. I see it in the boring meetings and the lack of God in the finances or even claiming to be Christ's hands but keeping them in its pockets. The church claims to have Christ but what it has is a bank account, nice tea cups and lovely dead flowers. Where is God? Where is the Jesus who challenged the very structure that people of his day called Church? What would Jesus say of his church? Would his bride be a whore? Would his

body have missing limbs or even in the grave?

Some questions that have been running through my mind is simple but rocked me to my core.

1. Should we as the next generation leave the church to die, (the current structure of church) but work with the young so they can rise from the ashes

2. Am I called to the church or to follow Jesus?

3. What has the church to offer the world in terms of corruption

One of my favourite sayings comes from St. Augustine who said " The church is a whore but she is my mother"

God would you guide me in the quest for more questions and answers that lead to more questions?

Blogging For The Soul

So I haven't blogged in awhile and I was thinking that I actually miss it. So I have decided to give it a shot again. This time I do it not for opinion or for understanding but just cause.

I just got to thinking where is my life now.....

Here some questions :

Is it ok to dislike the church?

Am I alone in this world?

What is the Gospel?

Who is Jesus?

And why do all of the above make me at this point in time so depressed with my life....

Its a conundrum of questions but I hope I might get some insight to them all.

Ciao

Who wins??

I wonder if God also sighs when she thinks of the joy and the release, we humans could experience if we would just learn to go out of our comfort zones and out of our thought patterns and out of our experiences and out our belief. 

I wont lie the past 2 weeks I have been trying to sift through allot of muck. The homosexual workshop has been put of Dcamp. Not by me but by the Youth Pastors of the various churches that attend. What I have been trying to understand is how much of the situation is people that are homophobic and how much of it is narrow sightedness.

I think my most hurtful comment was when someone said that if I cause one of there youth to stumble into homosexuality  (which was not the point of the discussion to prove it right or wrong but to listen to one person experience of Christ and their sexuality) I would have a millstone tied to my neck and thrown into the sea. NICE and VERY CHRISTIAN approach I think. I can only imagine the plight of the homosexual. Oh and just cause people are pro homosexuality doesn't make what they have to say any less truthful. apparently as well talking about homosexuality to teenagers will make them turn to homosexuality???? Just like talking about drugs will make teenagers druggies

So anyway at least I see people who are supporting me and trust me enough. To those who did thank you.... 

May we learn Jesus you always listened before you spoke. John 3:17

Watch This Space

In December a whole lot of young people 200-300 will be going to Port Shepston on Dcamp. Leadership Training. 

I am running an IDT (In Depth Training). 5 days on poverty in South Africa. Watch this space to see young peoples responses.

Also I'll be running 3 workshops. 1. Jesus and Money 2. Jesus and Homosexuality 3. Evolution and the Bible.

For the Jesus and Homosexuality track I am hoping to bring in a Homosexual Clergy. This will be in the style of an interview and will be blogging on the whole thing

Watch this space as it will try and show you just how insightful young people are!!!

Hope In The Now

I find myself going through stages where depression flows from my soul and turns me into a crying and sad person. Vashti has been really good and has been supportive me through this....But it has left me in a place where I have been trying to find God. But not this footprints in the sand kinda God but a God who is in my struggles and is trying to walk next to me.

The more I realised this, I realised God is not in control of the world... If God was in control there would be no poor, no fraud, no separation, but God is not in control. But God is actively involved in his creation. So where is God in this situation?The more I've looked around I have come to see the denial of the truth by using Jesus as a cover up. Maybe if we actively searched God off our couches and salaries we would see that God is speaking to us in a far deeper and far more open voice than we ever thought possible. God is calling us to partner with God self in the world and be involved in bringing the kingdom on earth.

Just a note on this I have been offered the Youth Pastor position at Lyttelton Methodist Church and I have decided to take it.... WOOOO HOOO