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I have gotten myself into allot of trouble in the church in recent times. For stating my views and standing up for what I believe. I know that sometimes I do not do things in the best way and I fall short big time. Sad part apart and joyous part about ministry is that people are our lab.

I am yet to find someone in the church who will come speak to my face, except for 3. 3 people out of a congregation of 500. Why is it like that? Why do Christians not speak to each other in love, but rather we hide behind the pretences of Jesus?

I am learning new things throughout this experience. Like nipping things in the bud, listening to people, People who love you can hate you as quickly, people might not care for your feelings and people can twist anything you say but also that I am also wrong.

Now I don't want to assume myself a prophet because people have been often given themselves Godly titles and have been further from the titles but I can imagine what the prophets must have gone through in terms of being outcast and standing up for their view.

I am hurting at the moment, I am questioning my theology, but I have never been as passionate about God. My prayer is that I got don't get fired, or shoved out, or that this would effect my ordination.

I hate being owned like this, its not a game of grace but a game of power.

My Confusion With SEXPO

Today on my university radio station they had a Porn Star in to promote SEXPO. Now I have gotten numerous invites to go to the sex expo and I have been thinking of taking some of the guys in my Youth to SEXPO to chat about healthy and “Godly” sexuality. Obviously I am not stupid because I know it would never go down well in the church. If I think people are unhappy now, you could imagine what it would be like if I did. I mean even if I went by myself as an observer I would be shot.

My confusion is this. The bible has very little to do with modern sexuality and marriage. People were married at 13 when they hit puberty and everything was prearranged. Love might have existed but I think in the majority of cases sex was rape.

There is definitely an addiction in people for pornography and it some cases sex. It is not only a male but there are some females who are addicted to  pornography and lust for sex as well. Why is this? Young people hit puberty and have to wait at least 7 years before they can marry. It is either a very sick game on Gods side or pressure from a western society that makes it unfair. The church has been guilty of making people feel guilty in their sexual experiences. Young people feel scared/guilty to masturbate, they feel hormones change and no wonder they want to touch.

How do we encourage good sexuality? What is good sexuality? As people are not wanting to get married as readily as they used to what do we as a church have to say about Sex?

I think the addiction to pornography and sex is an addiction to intimacy. It what we crave at our very basic nature. How do we encourage healthy intimacy? I DO NOT KNOW

Black, White, Grey or Colourless?

I had a meeting the other day with some girls in our church. The question was raised: “Why don’t you preach black and white?” My immediate response was to defend my view as I think most people would have done. This is my theology and therefore this is the type of Jesus I believe in.

It got me thinking though about this colour system we have got going within the church. There seems to be a thought that Black and White is correct and the Grey is the unknown which seems to be wrong.Why is this? Why is certainty truth and doubt a lack of faith. 

What is wrong with doubt? What is wrong with a bit or uncertainty in our faith? Why do we have to have it all together?  What would happen if people said we just don't know? Would people readily join us on the journey? Can the most stable footing for a relationship be doubt? I am not sure.

I love one of J.R.R. Tolken’s quotes: “Not all who wonder are lost” In life and in the bible not everything that is Black and White is godly. In fact Jesus snubs people for being to Black and white and not living in the grey. Maybe if people look at it the colours can be reversed. Black and White leads to doubt and Grey leads to truth.

I wonder if there will ever be a day where black,white or grey would combine to form a colourless theology. Where the way we speak about God and God’s love is so infused in our passion rather than our theology. Even this post is based on colour. I don’t think the language black and white and Grey is helpful for the world we live in. This colour system we have in front of us, is a label. Liberal or Fundamental. 

Passion

What is passion? Can we fall out of love with our passion or can our passions be constantly evolving that was once a passion in the past is now just a mere burden?

I approached some ladies today who have been very critical of my ministry. I asked what their issues were and what they struggled with and it came back that they wanted black and white answers but with allot of passion. Now I used to love the laws and the concept that the bible is the final authority but now my passion is those laws but the liberation that the gospels offer.

How can I be passionate about something I am not? Maybe the truth is my passion has changed not just with the Bible but maybe to ministry. 

What happens in the Church when your passion changes? Is there space for people to move? I wonder if Jesus’ passion changed at all? If it evolved? My heart and head say yes. Engaged with the law in the Temple as a child but realised that God was amongst the people rather than the Temple. The move from Temple to People…Interesting

Sermon 27 September 2009

Being Different

There is a huge intolerance in the world and I am sad to say that the majority of people that seem the most intolerant are those who have religion on there side. There have been wars fought throughout the bible and even post the new testament in the name of God, that have reeked of intolerance. Infect the very basis for the history of our country was from the church. September 11 two aero planes flew into the world trade centre killing thousands in the name of Allah. Which comes from the word alleluia which is the same God that we worship? George Bush taking a word from psalm 26 “Evil doers” justified in the name of God the Iraq war. I wonder what God thinks?

Not only have wars been fought in the name of God but judgment has been passed on people based on their different ideas of religion, looks and of their life. Just recently a tornado ripped through America and the evangelical church there blamed it on homosexuals. We have claimed authority over the world in the name of God but we haven’t allowed God to be present in that world.

Here is a little experiment have a look at the slides and see what you think

Who is the Christian?

 

 

 

 

 

It is time to elect a new world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.

Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He’s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.

Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn’t had any extramarital affairs.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler

 

Numbers 11

Note in the passage of Numbers how it is not the 70 leaders which would have given them prestige and honour but rather it is two men in the camp. These men would have probably been younger than 30 and would have not been seen as high up on the scale of authoritarian but yet in some way God speaks to the people through these men. Not in the tent but in the camp.

 

Mark 9: 38 – 50

Honour and shame. Jewish culture believed if you had an illness, that you were unclean and the reason you had the element was because of sin and this was a punishment from God on your life. So people who had leprosy couldn’t go into the temple because they were unclean or if you lost an eye you would be thrown out. Can I paraphrase the text just a little to see if maybe I can offer another aspect to it. Here the disciples knowing the Jewish laws and traditions come to Jesus saying master there is an unclean sinner preaching the gospel, in fact his not a rabbi or even a prophet but what he is doing is telling people about you and he is not like us. People are getting healed and this goes against everything we have been taught and everything we hold dear as a religion. Jesus says leave the guy alone and let them preach. You see its not who you or what you look like that makes you important. You can think you holy but its better to make yourself unholy for the gospel and in doing so you preach the message. Jesus is actually snubbing the people who think that they are the closest to Gods message. THIS IS RADICAL

I remember when I was young there was a game show on TV where they had a flies view of an object and you had to try guess what the object was. I mean they had cameras and the most arbitrary things you could think what it is. To my dismay no matter how hard I tried to guess the picture I don’t think I ever got one correct. I think that is often how we see God. God is so big and so massive that to try and understand God is impossible. In fact when we think we have even understood a concept of what and who God is we could hardly be further from the truth. Friends we are like that competition only seeing a small piece of God and can therefore never have the full truth. We need to see and hear other people’s perspectives

 

So what happens when people speak of a different theology than mine?

Maybe they are seeing a different side of God that you have not. Maybe there is some truth in what they are saying. Even if it makes you feel exceptionally uncomfortable there must be some form of understanding. There must be grace and there must be acceptance. If two are more are gathered in my name I am there!!!!

1 Corinthians 13:12

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 

 

 

What happens if people are in a different religion?

 

Genesis 1 says that we are all created in the image of God and therefore we all reflect a piece of God in our lives. To say that a Buddhist or a Hindi or even Muslim is wrong is to deny God working in their lives. You see if we all reflect a piece of God maybe we can learn from other religions. We judge and we do not even know who they are. That doesn’t even sound like the Jesus in the bible. Jesus was first visited by astrologers not JEWS. Rob bell and minister in America went to a conference with some of the great religious world leaders and Christians stood outside and judge him calling him evil.

 

What happens if people are doing things that we know are hurtful?

xxxchurch.com at the the pornography expo

 

The truth is if we believe in grace and that Gods grace is bigger than any flaw we believe in then we have to say that it doesn’t matter exactly what you believe Gods grace will still find us there.

 

So may we start to learn that your greatest gift to me is your greatest difference from me. May we learn to listen rather than judge and may we allow God to be present in our conversations and our journeys.

I Swore In Church and at God

Why is it that we can’t be honest with God? To sit in the raw emotions that we feel and be honest with God. Is it a sign of respect? Is it a sign of weakness? Does tradition dictate how we feel and respond to God?

Recently during a talk I swore and said where the ^$*! was God. In utter anger I swore at God. People have been outraged at this and have even questioned if I am a Christian.

Now granted the choice of words may not have been the best but it was honest. Isn't honesty what God calls us to? Is not being honest a sin? Well I came to the conclusion and think that if God cant handle my swear words then is God God? If grace cannot permeate my language, is it grace? Lastly what is more offensive to God a swearing honesty that even says they despise him or a lie of being dishonest that fake loves him? 

Religulous

Last night I watch a documentary about religion in the world. It was actually very interesting. It challenged the fact that their is a God but in essence I think it challenged the way we read scripture and the way humans implement their understanding of God. I would definitely recommend that you watch it however just remember than editing and the agenda of the film maker will always leave a bias taste.

The person doesn't ask recognised scholars but rather goes to the bible belt in the USA. The Muslims from war affected areas and Jews from a conservative teachings.

This is I feel the challenge of the church. To question doctrines and the way we live. The church is in need of some good apologetics that are able to speak in a new language. The church might need to change or die or maybe it is already dead.

Have a look and tell me what you think

Smocking

What is it about a little piece of paper wrapped around a plant, that can stir fear into the heart of Christians? We start to see the effects of that fear through judgment, a sense that the church will fall apart or even that people will drive past and say "They call themselves Christians and now look at them smoking".

 

I am sure there are bigger issues than smoking. I mean off the top of my head I could think maybe God would care more about poverty. Abuse, drugs, war, than a person putting a piece of paper in their mouth, but yet we find many churches shunning people who smoke before they walk in the door. Young people refuse to come into the church grounds if they are smoking or recently I had a conversation with some smokers, smoking in a dark hidden place behind the church in fear that someone would spot them and give them the lecture. Why do we as a Church not encourage honesty  but rather force people into hiding. It’s sad.

 

Now don’t get me wrong, I have two parents who smoke and I cannot stand the habit. It is unhealthy and is not a good habit at all, but our job as Christians is not to change people but to love. LOVE!!!! God changes we love. But yet we find that we can’t do that we have to change them. Its weird Jesus accepted and loved people and challenged them later. I wish we could start getting people from judging which leads to hiding to loving which leads to liberation. Maybe this would lead people to come to church if they felt loved. Homosexuals, adulaters, and all who fall short of the glory of God.  I think the people who drive past and judge the smokers are probably Christians. Small fact the bible doesn't speak about smoking.

Barry Guy Marshall

You ever meet someone once and you know that this person has made a profound impact on your life? Well that was Barry Marshall for you. I don’t think anyone could say that when they came into contact with Barry they hadn’t gone into a wrestling match with God. Barry inspired, challenged, loved, taught and mostly gave himself to you.

Barry is the reason I am a Christian today. When others were giving me crap Christianity Barry had the space to push me to new and liberating places. I will never forget Barry talking to young people about being drunk and saying honestly how smashed he got at his engagement party and how he challenged me to ministry by saying "what is the greatest gift you can give you your children, the latest IPod or the gift of simplicity". He taught me that to go into a song in different key you go to 5th note and 7th it.

Barry was a wealth of knowledge and inspiration. Unfortunately Barry passed away in the sea almost a week ago. Barry you will be missed, not only by your family but by a generation of young and old that you impacted in astounding ways. You liberated many and even though people got upset with your views, you liberated them to.

Barry you died in the same way you lived. Paddling out to sea alone while others stood on the shoreline watching. Barry may you always be apart of our thoughts and our actions. May we to carry the liberation torch that has touched your flame to others.

Here I am send me

I hate the bible sometimes. So often it can leave me feeling empty and lost and at the same time it can give me hope in the love and movement of God in the world.

Its no secret to the people who know me that lately I have been feeling pretty sad about the church and my calling to the God has really taken a knock. I wonder if minister are ever called by God or are they called by the church?

Anyway so I have been thinking about my calling. I am tired..... Tired of many things but the thing that probably makes me tired the most is my theology. Being labeled as a "Liberal" "Post Modernist" "Emergent" "Satanist" has one thing in common, the fight. I have to constantly defend my views and am almost always labeled as wrong without being hear, instead of being accepted as a disciple. I am tired of fighting and not being love by my fellow disciples.

So today I was watching Rhythm by Rob Bell at youth church and he spoke about being part of Gods song. Being in tune to the music of God and playing in that rhythm. In one part of the video I felt vulnerable, safe, open, closed, lonely, cared for, sinner, graced....The emotions were just one of the same and at times totally separate. All I could hear was hear I am send me....And here you are, so am I.

I don't know if minister is where I want to be, in fact there is very little I do know, however, in the word of all who fought for the rhythm of God I shall say "Here I am send me" and I am sure that God will reply "Here you are, so am I"

Church?

Is the church dead? Is it dying? or could it be far more alive than I ever could imagine?

Recently I heard from Dion Foster that the business world and the church have a completely different language. So much so that the church is seen as out of touch and has lost the plot. We can debate the fact but we can see it in Europe that the church is dead. We can debate the where it started, The crusades (with the church killing for God) The enlightenment (Thinking in a new way which the churches responses was fundamentalism) or could it have been when the church split in the reformation. Regardless of the fact the church in the west is dying.

I can see why. I see it in the boring meetings and the lack of God in the finances or even claiming to be Christ's hands but keeping them in its pockets. The church claims to have Christ but what it has is a bank account, nice tea cups and lovely dead flowers. Where is God? Where is the Jesus who challenged the very structure that people of his day called Church? What would Jesus say of his church? Would his bride be a whore? Would his

body have missing limbs or even in the grave?

Some questions that have been running through my mind is simple but rocked me to my core.

1. Should we as the next generation leave the church to die, (the current structure of church) but work with the young so they can rise from the ashes

2. Am I called to the church or to follow Jesus?

3. What has the church to offer the world in terms of corruption

One of my favourite sayings comes from St. Augustine who said " The church is a whore but she is my mother"

God would you guide me in the quest for more questions and answers that lead to more questions?

Blogging For The Soul

So I haven't blogged in awhile and I was thinking that I actually miss it. So I have decided to give it a shot again. This time I do it not for opinion or for understanding but just cause.

I just got to thinking where is my life now.....

Here some questions :

Is it ok to dislike the church?

Am I alone in this world?

What is the Gospel?

Who is Jesus?

And why do all of the above make me at this point in time so depressed with my life....

Its a conundrum of questions but I hope I might get some insight to them all.

Ciao

Who wins??

I wonder if God also sighs when she thinks of the joy and the release, we humans could experience if we would just learn to go out of our comfort zones and out of our thought patterns and out of our experiences and out our belief. 

I wont lie the past 2 weeks I have been trying to sift through allot of muck. The homosexual workshop has been put of Dcamp. Not by me but by the Youth Pastors of the various churches that attend. What I have been trying to understand is how much of the situation is people that are homophobic and how much of it is narrow sightedness.

I think my most hurtful comment was when someone said that if I cause one of there youth to stumble into homosexuality  (which was not the point of the discussion to prove it right or wrong but to listen to one person experience of Christ and their sexuality) I would have a millstone tied to my neck and thrown into the sea. NICE and VERY CHRISTIAN approach I think. I can only imagine the plight of the homosexual. Oh and just cause people are pro homosexuality doesn't make what they have to say any less truthful. apparently as well talking about homosexuality to teenagers will make them turn to homosexuality???? Just like talking about drugs will make teenagers druggies

So anyway at least I see people who are supporting me and trust me enough. To those who did thank you.... 

May we learn Jesus you always listened before you spoke. John 3:17

Watch This Space

In December a whole lot of young people 200-300 will be going to Port Shepston on Dcamp. Leadership Training. 

I am running an IDT (In Depth Training). 5 days on poverty in South Africa. Watch this space to see young peoples responses.

Also I'll be running 3 workshops. 1. Jesus and Money 2. Jesus and Homosexuality 3. Evolution and the Bible.

For the Jesus and Homosexuality track I am hoping to bring in a Homosexual Clergy. This will be in the style of an interview and will be blogging on the whole thing

Watch this space as it will try and show you just how insightful young people are!!!

Grace Beyond Our Expectations

So can you believe it.... I actually found a girl who like me back. This is an achievement :)
Anyway so its been a long time since my last post but I have been thinking allot. Is Jesus a God where we have to grovel at His feet? What the deal?? Do we have to sit and pray and pray and pray and pray to get anything? Why is it that we find ourselves almost begging God for anything. Where is the love? Where is the Grace? Truth be told I don't think I want a God like that. That in my suffering and pain, in a communities suffering and pain, in a countries suffering and pain, in a world suffering and pain, God is trying to teach me a lesson or I have to pray 70 times before Gods sectary Jesus lets God hear my prayer. Sorry if that is who Jesus is I think I am leaving the church.
However I came to a lecture the other day with this tension in side of me. The lecture spoke of the enlightenment. Now I understand the root of I generation. This is where the French Revolution started. It was a place that said what about my own good. I don't want to be a peasant I want to be something more. I am important and I........... I........... I............ I.............

Before this point, community was the most important aspect. The highest form of salvation was in the community. Jesus spoke into that... Salvation was a community exercise.

Which got me thinking on the lines of do I have to accept Jesus to know salvation?...To know grace?... Does Jesus's save me regardless of my verbal commitment? Is an individual commitment biblical?? or even Christian? Funny enough Jesus never has an alter call. Is what we have now in or churches a product of the enlightenment?My own conclusion is that, Grace is offered regardless, Heaven is available for all. That must be the greatest gift that Christ bestowed on us. Its not about growling at the feet of Jesus its about experiencing the Grace of God in the world. The opportunity to be saved, to repent, to have hope. This leaves humans with the task of not saving people.. We are not called to save people, we called to love and become like the master. Tend to the poor, Plead the case for the widow and the ultimate form of human tasks, to lay down ones life for the people we don't know.

I think we need a little more community in our lives

The Mind Of The Brave

What is it about the world that great minds are ostracised? Do we believe that the great minds should sit behind a desk and every now and then they should write a motivational book. God forbid that the great minds come out from behind their glasses and challenge our lifestyles. NO NO NO their job is to make my flat screen TV clearer and make my life easier.

I would start to say that I am pretty controversial. Some people call it heresy and others call satanic. I don't think that when I start thinking that I should come with the most controversial thought but I do think that its what makes me come to terms with the world I find myself in.

I have noticed though that when people do not agree with you then they say either two things. 1. That you are forcing your views on everyone but the truth is if you stayed inside what they thought was normal then you wouldn't be forceful. 2. That you are wrong and that there is something wrong with you.

I don't mind so much people disagreeing with me and rejecting me but rather my deepest hurt is when the people you hold close start to reject you. Your views become so different that it breaks the bonds that should be so strong. My family is Christian and we cannot discuss Christianity in my house cause of the fact that the bonds of family are broken when I open my mouth. Its sad that the one thing that should unify us is the one thing that breaks us apart. Sad!!!

I really feel that I have isolated myself with just the way I think. I cant discuss, engage or even just relax with the people I love. Its a lonely place but what's the alternative find love and deny your true belief? I wonder how Jesus responded to his family structure being destroyed by what He believed. Its a lonely place when you hang on the cross and your family is the one shouting CRUCIFY HIM!!

The Side Of God I Never Knew

As I sit in my lectures and see this God that I thought i knew. The few things I do know is that I know nothing. That God is far bigger than who I thought God was. Far bigger than the bible, far bigger than Jesus and far bigger than I could ever imagine.



I am definitely not one of those people who looks at the stars and goes wow!!! I cant fathom a God like that but i can get my head around a God of grace hope and love. That is the God that I never knew. A tangible open God who is challenging my thought and my soul (If I have one) but this God reaches across denomination across religion and across humanity.



Why??? What is this God up to??

If We Refuse To Tell The Truth Is That A Lie??

When people look at the world they see certain imagery that makes their worlds become real. The hold on to the hope that what is Red is in fact Red and what makes their world come alive is in fact true and not something they perceive. Well at least that's what I think. Our world becomes this bubble. Once we look from the inside of the bubble our world has many shades and many dimensions that might not be a true reflection on reality but it could at best be our distorted view of reality.

What happens when our bubble pops. Do we look at the world and say this is not my bubble or do we embrace the new colours??? Do we embrace the bubble we find ourselves in?? The world is so much bigger, The colours are far brighter and the dimensions are far beyond what I can fathom in my little bubble.

Anyway so with this in mined......I have some questions!!!

Is God the bubble blower or is God the world and we blow the bubbles? Not sure if God gives us the perspectives of God or do we natural put it in to perspective?

Will I always see the gospel according to Justin and preach the gospel according to Justin.... My short answer is Yes but it leads to a Therefore........ I need to ask what is my perspective and what are the limitations of that?

How much of the truth and knowledge do we share about the bible with ppl??? Is the bible a bubble in itself? The bible is seen as this sacred object of God. In some ways it is seen as god and God is not seen as god.

And if we Refuse To Tell The Truth Is That A Lie?? If people ask us questions do we tell them what we know or do we shhhhh??

I don't know where I stand here...... I think the journey has begun

The Attack Of The Heart

My blog is my diary more than it is my platform to speak and share from. So I wont shy away from writing what I feel on it even if people I know read it.

I preached last weak Sunday and I really enjoyed the platform. I never talk for God but i talk about my experiences of a God who encounters me in love. Some people say that I am extreme and out of Gods will and scripture. My first response is always thanks Jesus and secondly I really think that they are so challenged by my point of views that rejection and attack is the first response.

With that in mind I gave my talk. I speak on what I believe. I spoke about the calling of Joshua and Jesus's calling to us from his basis of love. So I said how God calls male and female and that its not Christian to say leaders are men and then I said my pic of God is black and female.

Then I said when we look at anything Old Testament we have to draw it along side Jesus. Jesus's example was that He didn't come to die for us but rather he came to love us and the consequence was the cross. We should therefore love no matter what.I ended off praying female. So Mother God.....

Anyway lets just say people are quick to burn people on the stake. I have been nailed in so many aspects. One of my hardest things to face is to face unbalance. When people are upset with me and actually hate me. It throws my balance out.
On a lighter note Trevor Hudson has agreed to be my mentor for this year so I am very lucky.
Oh and this is a warning watch out for this man. He can speak many languages and teaches Hebrew. He challenges me not in scripture but to get my work ethic up. Plus I just wanted to show him that he can make it onto my blog if I chose.

The Female God

I have had to experience's in the last couple of days and has brought me back to the sacred picture of God. The more and more I see how people see God the more I realise how central that picture becomes to how we engage with God, People, Creation and ourselves.
Two experiences came from two Christians. Let me just say that the one is highly educated in theology and the other has read the bible about 20 times cover to cover. We got on to the picture of God. It amazes me how we claim to know God is non Gender and how we seem to find ourselves saying Him, King,Man etc. in our worship in our prayers in every aspect of our Christian life. I wouldn't be surprised if deep down we saw a picture of God that was majority male.

The one person said that his friend like in BEE has gone to the totally opposite of the previous system so that it might balance it out. He started saying Goddess and her, she in the way they approached God.
The other chose to not believe that God could be female as scripture told him so. So God was Father period and that God was male and that's what the bible said.
I find myself living in this world where God is a male. Let me just say as males I do not feel we have lived a life an even imposed a life that has been beneficial to society. I would at no time call myself a racist in fact that's the last thing I want to be but I would call myself prejudices against black people. I am scared to experience there humanity as a fear of being robbed(Even though the majority of black people will not do that). So my picture of God is a black female. I want my picture to challenge me to a more whole picture of God, humanity, creation and myself.

Why cant God be female. Imagine the world if we started to live a life that represented the female side of God. I wonder if we saw God as a stay at home Mom looking after her kids how things would change?