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I have gotten myself into allot of trouble in the church in recent times. For stating my views and standing up for what I believe. I know that sometimes I do not do things in the best way and I fall short big time. Sad part apart and joyous part about ministry is that people are our lab.

I am yet to find someone in the church who will come speak to my face, except for 3. 3 people out of a congregation of 500. Why is it like that? Why do Christians not speak to each other in love, but rather we hide behind the pretences of Jesus?

I am learning new things throughout this experience. Like nipping things in the bud, listening to people, People who love you can hate you as quickly, people might not care for your feelings and people can twist anything you say but also that I am also wrong.

Now I don't want to assume myself a prophet because people have been often given themselves Godly titles and have been further from the titles but I can imagine what the prophets must have gone through in terms of being outcast and standing up for their view.

I am hurting at the moment, I am questioning my theology, but I have never been as passionate about God. My prayer is that I got don't get fired, or shoved out, or that this would effect my ordination.

I hate being owned like this, its not a game of grace but a game of power.

Passion

What is passion? Can we fall out of love with our passion or can our passions be constantly evolving that was once a passion in the past is now just a mere burden?

I approached some ladies today who have been very critical of my ministry. I asked what their issues were and what they struggled with and it came back that they wanted black and white answers but with allot of passion. Now I used to love the laws and the concept that the bible is the final authority but now my passion is those laws but the liberation that the gospels offer.

How can I be passionate about something I am not? Maybe the truth is my passion has changed not just with the Bible but maybe to ministry. 

What happens in the Church when your passion changes? Is there space for people to move? I wonder if Jesus’ passion changed at all? If it evolved? My heart and head say yes. Engaged with the law in the Temple as a child but realised that God was amongst the people rather than the Temple. The move from Temple to People…Interesting