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I have gotten myself into allot of trouble in the church in recent times. For stating my views and standing up for what I believe. I know that sometimes I do not do things in the best way and I fall short big time. Sad part apart and joyous part about ministry is that people are our lab.

I am yet to find someone in the church who will come speak to my face, except for 3. 3 people out of a congregation of 500. Why is it like that? Why do Christians not speak to each other in love, but rather we hide behind the pretences of Jesus?

I am learning new things throughout this experience. Like nipping things in the bud, listening to people, People who love you can hate you as quickly, people might not care for your feelings and people can twist anything you say but also that I am also wrong.

Now I don't want to assume myself a prophet because people have been often given themselves Godly titles and have been further from the titles but I can imagine what the prophets must have gone through in terms of being outcast and standing up for their view.

I am hurting at the moment, I am questioning my theology, but I have never been as passionate about God. My prayer is that I got don't get fired, or shoved out, or that this would effect my ordination.

I hate being owned like this, its not a game of grace but a game of power.

Black, White, Grey or Colourless?

I had a meeting the other day with some girls in our church. The question was raised: “Why don’t you preach black and white?” My immediate response was to defend my view as I think most people would have done. This is my theology and therefore this is the type of Jesus I believe in.

It got me thinking though about this colour system we have got going within the church. There seems to be a thought that Black and White is correct and the Grey is the unknown which seems to be wrong.Why is this? Why is certainty truth and doubt a lack of faith. 

What is wrong with doubt? What is wrong with a bit or uncertainty in our faith? Why do we have to have it all together?  What would happen if people said we just don't know? Would people readily join us on the journey? Can the most stable footing for a relationship be doubt? I am not sure.

I love one of J.R.R. Tolken’s quotes: “Not all who wonder are lost” In life and in the bible not everything that is Black and White is godly. In fact Jesus snubs people for being to Black and white and not living in the grey. Maybe if people look at it the colours can be reversed. Black and White leads to doubt and Grey leads to truth.

I wonder if there will ever be a day where black,white or grey would combine to form a colourless theology. Where the way we speak about God and God’s love is so infused in our passion rather than our theology. Even this post is based on colour. I don’t think the language black and white and Grey is helpful for the world we live in. This colour system we have in front of us, is a label. Liberal or Fundamental. 

How should we teach

I love gifts. In fact it think its one of the things that make me feel special. Gifts don't have to be huge (although I would like a nice car :) but for me when you give a gift it must come from the heart. How do I know it’s from the heart? It reflects a piece of who the recipient is.

My family will testify to this. One Christmas my sister bought me soap. Now if you know me well enough you probably know that I haven't used soap for about 4 years now. And for those of you who are thinking “Doesn’t he smell” the short answer is no. But this is a whole new topic for some other day. Anyway needless to say I was very hurt and upset.

A couple of weeks I had a conversation with one of the guys in my Youth about the three big letter word called “SEX”. Cutting a long story short I basically said Sex/Marriage in the bible has a totally different context to our modern day world, Marriage doesn't always equal Godly sex and that if he wanted to have sex he should rather abstain but if he wasn't going to I would go but him condoms.

Also in a talk about the Holy Spirit I spoke openly and I swore at God in a teaching series. Just to show a. Honesty and b. Hope that God is bigger than my swearing.

Anyway so I got a present today and I am thankful for the present except one thing has got me trapped in a spin and is leading to some questions that I don’t have answers for. The present I found out from one of the people who chose it was an attempt to change my theology. So it wasn't a gift as much was a statement of judgement. It’s funny I know I shouldn't be upset but its got to me. That something that comes from love can be given in Judgement. Basically what was asked of me was to become fundamental. To fall in line.

So here are my questions…….

1. Am I being a plonker or do I have a right to be grieved?
2. Why cant people speak to your face but can make a million reasons why you are not approachable?
3. How do I as a labelled liberal thinker take people on this journey of thought?
4. Do we lie to young people for the sake of keeping them in line, knowing what we do now or do we express the truth even though its hard for people to grasp the concepts?

Smocking

What is it about a little piece of paper wrapped around a plant, that can stir fear into the heart of Christians? We start to see the effects of that fear through judgment, a sense that the church will fall apart or even that people will drive past and say "They call themselves Christians and now look at them smoking".

 

I am sure there are bigger issues than smoking. I mean off the top of my head I could think maybe God would care more about poverty. Abuse, drugs, war, than a person putting a piece of paper in their mouth, but yet we find many churches shunning people who smoke before they walk in the door. Young people refuse to come into the church grounds if they are smoking or recently I had a conversation with some smokers, smoking in a dark hidden place behind the church in fear that someone would spot them and give them the lecture. Why do we as a Church not encourage honesty  but rather force people into hiding. It’s sad.

 

Now don’t get me wrong, I have two parents who smoke and I cannot stand the habit. It is unhealthy and is not a good habit at all, but our job as Christians is not to change people but to love. LOVE!!!! God changes we love. But yet we find that we can’t do that we have to change them. Its weird Jesus accepted and loved people and challenged them later. I wish we could start getting people from judging which leads to hiding to loving which leads to liberation. Maybe this would lead people to come to church if they felt loved. Homosexuals, adulaters, and all who fall short of the glory of God.  I think the people who drive past and judge the smokers are probably Christians. Small fact the bible doesn't speak about smoking.